Creating a Timeline for Growth, Healing & Development

Do you ever look at your life and consider where it is going?  According to Socrates, “The unexamined life is not worth living”.  In this sense knowing yourself, where you came from (and where you are headed), leads to a “life worth living”.  One special technique to understand your life involves creating a therapeutic Timeline, described below.  Examining your life means understanding the personal history involved in your story or narrative, helping you establish and define your unique individual identity.  Personal identity leads to a greater sense of integrity and even success.  According to Dr. Lila Swell, “Your identity and your success go hand in hand.  Many people sacrifice their identities by not doing what they really want to do and that’s why they’re not successful”.  A Timeline, such as the one described below, is a detailed exercise to enhance self-awareness, self-definition, and promote your sense of personal identity.  Also, by taking a really close look at your life and its direction, you may identify times where you got stuck that prevent you from moving forward.  By using a Timeline, you can work through these blocks and make better choices for a successful life aligned with your unique individual self.

Instructions: Each year of your life starting with your birth (0-1 years old), write out a detailed description of the following to create a map of important life experiences.  The purpose of a Timeline is to chronicle your personal history to gain a coherent picture of you: where you were, where you are, and to make better choices about where you may be going.  A thorough Timeline can take dozens of hours to complete!  It is important not to hurry and to take your time.  View the formation of your Timeline as a process and try to write something as often as you can, like a couple of times a week or even more.

Try to go in chronological order but it is OK to go out of order if you want to focus on a particular period.  Be sure to fill the gaps in eventually.  Early years (0-18) are particularly important, especially childhood and puberty, but later years are important as well.  Be thorough in your descriptions and know that you may encounter various emotions as you revisit important events.  Once you have worked on a period of time, deeply reflect on this period in your life.  If you are in therapy, bring it in to talk to your psychologist or therapist.

Age: Your age.  Try to go in increments of one year (e.g. years 0-1, 1-2, 2-3, 3-4…)

Residence and Description: Describe in detail where you lived, what the neighborhood was like, how you felt about the residence and neighborhood or any other important detail that stands out.  This can provide a physical context for the events that you experienced.

Important people in my life: Who were the important people in your life at this time?  Be sure to include parents, siblings, key friends, other important relatives, teachers, etc.  Think carefully about your relationship to each person (or if too young to recall, what you know about your relationship from others).

• Describe both positive and negative qualities in that relationship.  Be honest and refrain from editing out negative qualities and only focusing on the positive ones.
• Comment on any problems in the relationship and how you felt at the time.
• Comment on how you feel now as you look back.

School/Work: If it applies, where did you go to school or work at the time?

• Describe the place and your feelings about it, both good and bad.
• Did anything important happen at school or work at that time?
• What was your typical day like?

Important Events and my Reaction to Them: During this time in your life, what important events stand out?  For instance, did you have any special achievements or were there any challenges or difficulties?

• What were the difficulties like losses of family members, accidents, medical illnesses, etc?
• What were the special achievements or surprises?
• What was your reaction to these important events and most importantly, what impressions have they left on you?  Comment on how they shaped you.

My Observations of This Year:  Look back on the year and ask yourself, “What stands out?”  How did these events affect you at that time?

• In looking back, what do you currently make of your experiences at that time in your life?
• Are there any lessons you learned or patterns that got set up at this time?

If you want to explore your life, enhance self-awareness, and develop a healthy sense of who you are, then you should begin a Timeline right away!  Appreciating significant, impactful life events can help you tune into yourself, producing better life decisions, and understanding your unique self (see article “… A Path With Heart”).  Keep in mind that if you are completely honest with yourself you will encounter both positive and negative experiences that shaped who you are in both positive and negative ways!  Do not ignore or minimize the negative influences, even if they are painful to look at.  True growth is not possible without at least some pain.  At some point it can be very helpful to open up about your feelings to a trained professional.  In this capacity, as a psychologist with an appreciation for the importance of feelings, emotional growth, and tuning into your unique self, I would be happy to help.  Feel free to call me anytime.

Please post your comments or reactions on my website.  Thank you for reading this article and I hope it was helpful.  Good luck!  To get more information on important wellness and mental health issues please go to The Ryan Review.